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Saturday, February 18, 2006

stress

Alrite..just came back from "training" at JE...no rest no much sleep after staying over night at bukit batok mac to study for my exam whch is cuming this tuesday...study ar..not quite..can only doing 8 qns consider studying? hai...i tot i can persevere through the night but then my head starts to spin at around 3pm...i can't concentrate...all my maths qns i suddenly can't do..my brain crash and it mulfunction le....sian lor...and then you all should know my bad temper and panic disorder starts to take place...get so irritated for nth....

actually i myself knows i'm a complaining and nagging person...even though i knew but then it seem to be uncontrolable...hai...just now the mac sudden was so humid and hot inside...i start to lose all my senses wxcept my mouth and start complaining this and that to yiyi....nan wei her...i know..but i just had that irritating feeling in my heart that i wana throw out...dunno wat to say and nth i can say to make her know tat i oso di wan it this way...maybe is part of my genes bah...my sis more worse than me lor....

And also..i think i changed alot lor..from a quite nice person to a sudden devil...my bad temper got back...i dun like it at all...i starts to pin point at every person that doesn;t fit into my eyes...hai..wat's happening to me? wat's all my respect and glory i gt from everyone in the past....even when i'm on court...ok i know i'm a bit better than the rest but that sudden got over my head lor...my defense becam so xia jian...the devilish side of me had actually appear liao...hai...spraining ppl leg..breaking their ankle...pushing them..use dirty tricks in order to win...use violent to play not critical thinking...these all became the 1st thing in my mind when i'm on court lor...even to friends...enemies...strangers....OMG...can any1 help me...

Instead of my skills being respect in the past, now everyone is so afraid of me cos they are scare to be hurted...wat have i done...hai...i wun blame any1...ii dun blame any1 and i dun have the rite to blame any1 cos even i myself cannot comprehen myself...wat else can i expect ppl to comprehen me... did i contempt too many ppl or too many ppl starts to contempt me????? My life became so sucks this few years....gerald gerald..where are you lor..can i find back my old self...i need you angel..not devil...

hai...maybe is pressure bah..i take too many things too seriously le...putting everything into my mind..thats y i can;t focus many things this year...mainly is becos of my studies...bball i'm playing less...and i think i'm coping with my relationship with kellyn well...but the thing is hor...maybe i put too much pressure to myself and end up stressing kellyn oso...omg omg...dear..i nv blame you...i love you always...i'm just like that....abit siao one...i put you as impt to me too...without you..i find no motivation in life...cos it's your smile that lighten me up...so dun ignore me if i get irritated...cos it really din mean anything wrong with you..it's wif me....


`Gerald;2:38 PM
`E.N.D`

~~PreCiouS MemOries~~
>

~About Me~

Gerald Lim lip giap(quite a weirdo name)
13/04/1987
used to study in yishun primary and sembawang sec
Singapore poly
Areospace electronics
Height : 187cm
Weight : 70kg
*Very ah beng style(not ah beng)<
*learning to change*
*but luvs to study
*hates the rain
*-simplydivine-*
*used to be a extreme bballer
*-broken shoulder and ankle-*
*my bao bei kellyn!!!! i love you*
* if you wana try..then dun do..if you wana do..then try the best!*
* but if you try to test my patience,,then better dun...
* dragon punch highest record 8630*
* Currently playing for yuhua zone 2 and Tong Whye dragons.


CraPPPPP!!

GerAlD Fav!
::Kellyn::
::Angeline::
::Emily the strange::
::YaNzZZ::
::Jaclyn (kell's ah jie)::
::Kai ling::
::Cynthia::
::Adeline::
::Jennifer::
::Stella::
::Stella n wei rong::
::wei rong::
::Jing ting::
::Hao Woah::
::Hui Mei::
::Ben::
::Kay Yam::
::Darius::
::My friendster bloggy::
::Ti Ooi::
::Wendy peiwen::
::peikun::
::yusong::
::vonne::
::Sabrina::
::Zaiqian::
::Pauline::
::Marcus..wei cong lar::
::PHOTOS AT CHALET::
::photos of training session::
::photos of chalet 2::
::asian aerospace::
::SILOSO RESORT( 2ND ANNI)::
::KEPPEL SEA SCAN DND 2007::

For You my Kellz
Give me a little trust,
I love you with my whole heart,
I do anything for you just for you...
It's not just about loving you,
It's all about putting my heart into yours,
It's all about seeing your brillant smile,
It's all about seeing you being happy,
It's all about hugging you, holding you,
It's all about watching you shy, joy , sad ,touch
Basically,
It's All About You....
kellyn...i love you till the end...
dote you lyk hell and heaven...
Mish you as if the next day will dooms day....
Embrace you into my arms with all mights...
Be by your side when you need someone...
Lend you my shoulder if you wana cry...
Give you my arm if you wana bite...
Let you punch me when you angry...
Let you nag at me when you wan a listening ear... Love you love you love you love you and you!!!!!